The problem with Harry in royal circles? He’s left behind feelings of disgust, is accused of wreaking Biblical vengeance

The words could not be more poignant in the circumstances.

On the eve of his 40th birthday tomorrow, Prince Harry stressed the importance of family by emailing the US magazine People to tell them ‘The greatest gift I’ve ever been given is, without doubt, is my kids. I enjoy watching them grow every single day.’

In keeping with the sentiment, he is planning a small party at his $11 million Montecito home with Meghan and their two children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, followed reportedly by an outing with a group of his closest friends.

The words could not be more poignant in the circumstances.

On the eve of his 40th birthday tomorrow, Prince Harry stressed the importance of family by emailing the US magazine People to tell them ‘The greatest gift I’ve ever been given is, without doubt, is my kids. I enjoy watching them grow every single day.’

In keeping with the sentiment, he is planning a small party at his $11 million Montecito home with Meghan and their two children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, followed reportedly by an outing with a group of his closest friends.

He not only turned his back on everything he once knew, but pressed the nuclear button.

He blew his home, his friends and his duties as a royal – but, above all, his family. And the toxic fall-out simply won’t go away.

In the weeks running up to his milestone birthday, I have been speaking to those with inside knowledge of this intractable breakdown.

One of the major problems, they tell me, is that Harry has never been one for saying sorry, or even admitting he was wrong. ‘Maybe he’ll feel some sorrow at the way things have turned out, but he’ll never admit that any of it was his fault,’ says one insider who has known him since childhood.

Turning 40 may prompt him to reflect on his life but, astonishingly, they believe Harry remains hurt and angry that no one is begging him to come back into the royal fold – and this is yet another impasse to any rapprochement in the near future.

For their part, some in Royal circles admit that the Palace machinery didn’t handle the whole ‘Sussex situation’ terribly well – at the same time, strongly emphasising that it’s actually rather hard to help a couple who make everything so ‘exhaustingly difficult’, seeing conspiracy at every turn.

Indeed, the situation got so bad that many believe leaving Britain was the right thing for the prince to do.

‘He wasn’t happy, he couldn’t hide that and he needed to make a break. It was a horrible, toxic atmosphere,’ says one insider who lived through the crisis.

However, it was the way Harry went about cutting ties, his laser-focused determination to wreak an almost Biblical vengeance on his family, the determination to spill his guts at any cost, that has truly ruptured bonds with those – both family and friends – who once loved and doted on him.

I was told of one former confidant, who for many years couldn’t have been closer to Harry, who was so disgusted by his behaviour – and, in particular, by some of the things he apparently said privately about his family – that they vowed never to talk to him again. And they haven’t.

So is there any chance of Harry ever being welcomed back? Can shattered relations be restored?

Where William is concerned, one well-placed source told me that even after the infamous Oprah interview in March 2021, they could envisage a time when the brothers would find a way to make up eventually.

They don’t think that now, following the continued barrage of attacks in the Sussex’s Netflix documentary, the interviews and podcasts and his vitriolic 2023 memoir Spare, which they say was the final nail in the coffin.

‘The relationship [between the brothers] is non-existent,’ another admits. ‘William feels betrayed and has other priorities.’

Even Harry’s most loyal supporters agree the brothers’ relationship is a ‘complicated beast’:

‘I’d still like to think they might talk, one day. But there’s a long road ahead and we certainly aren’t any closer to that today.’

They do believe recent claims, however, that Harry would like to find a way to reconcile with his father, particularly given the King’s cancer battle, which ‘weighs on his mind’. This is why, they feel, Harry chose not to update the recently published paperback verson of his hit-job memoir, a climbdown which came as a huge (and not unwelcome) surprise to Buckingham Palace.

In return, royal officials are notably shying away from even discussing the Sussexes in the hope it will give father and son space to see if they can save anything from their relationship

The Royal household and the family remain nervous, of course, and wary, it’s fair to say.

Trust is so low that Harry was the last family member to be given the news of his father’s cancer diagnosis in February, and then only just as it was about to break globally. (He was not even informed in advance of his sister-in-law’s health crisis weeks later).

The King was also left disappointed last November after his son called to wish him happy 75th birthday. Just hours later, details of their conversation, including the fact that his grandchildren Archie and Lilibet, had sent a video message to him singing happy birthday, was leaked by Team Sussex to journalists.